Many of us are single and have travel lust (or simply like). Finding a travel companion isn’t always easy and you may return to discover that being good friends doesn’t necessarily good travelers make. People have different rhythms and waiting for a “partner in travel” to get in synch with you (and vice versa) may spell disaster. Some friends refuse to travel with people whom they know because they don’t share the same rhythm.
Some people would never consider joining a tour group with instant friends because it may mean being stuck on a bus for more hours than anyone should be willing to endure. For others, there’s nothing worse than being thrown in with others, whom they might not have chosen. Worse yet, travelers may have zero in common other than wanting to go to the same destination.
Single travelers don’t want to stay home. But they don’t want to spend all of their evenings looking at the four walls of the same room and staring at the television. Is there a solution, a magic bullet for traveling alone?
Book your tickets and head to the destination of your dreams. Follow these rules and the odds of making new friends and having a great time will multiply.
Tips for making friends along the way
– Seek out connections before you leave home. Chat with friends who’ve already been to that destination. Take notes, thank them for their tips, advice and contacts. Friends of friends are potentially some of the best contacts. And please surf the Internet about the locale to avoid asking dumber than dumb questions.
– Interrogate friends and family who’ve spent time in the country you’re planning to visit. Send a blast email to your acquaintances who travel (or better yet are, or have been) in the State Department and ask for contacts. Make it clear you’d love to take these people out for a drink at their favorite bar and hope it morphs into something more. People who live abroad aren’t always thrilled when they hear someone is “parachuting” into town and is looking for a tour guide.
– Become a member of an organization that offers home-stays. If you’re a member of a group (professional, social or even knitting), it may have affiliates in other countries.
– This is when social networking can make or break your trip. Announce on FACEBOOK, Linked-in (and so many other cyber meeting sites) that you’re going to x-y-z places and any and all contacts would be appreciated.
– Avoid large, impersonal hotels. Opt for a small bed and breakfast or even a hostel if you’re truly into communal living. If you’re the big hotel type, book a room on the Executive floor (yes, you pay extra) but you can eat breakfast, drink soft drinks and if the management knows how to attract clients, there will be a cocktail hour in the lounge. The environment is conducive to speaking to strangers and more than occasionally, people end up having dinner together.
– Eating alone? Keep an English book or newspaper on your table. Inevitably someone will recognize either the book title or the newspaper and strike up a conversation. Don’t be shy about making a comment to him or her. You’ll be amazed by how glad people are when someone breaks the ice. Or, you may get a cold stare…. Some people “wanna be alone” especially if they’ve completed a challenging business day and are talked or stressed out.
– Look for restaurants that offer communal seating at large dining room tables. This is becoming a real trend since restaurants can turn seats more quickly and it’s always easier to find a place for a single person than for a group of four. The fun part of these restaurants is you never know who will sit next to you and what the conversations will yield. Serving meals at restaurant bars has become increasingly popular. Grab a stool and hope someone interesting is in the adjoining chair or stool.
– Wine bars are a great place to meet people and you know you have something in common. Learn enough that you can ask an intelligent questions about a certain wine regions. Then sit back and listen and taste. It’s a great way to improve your palate and have an interesting discussion. I’ve met a lot of nice folks at sushi-bars, noodle joints and all of these tres chic grazing restaurants. If you like Spanish food, tapas are a sure way to informally socialize. There’s something about wine and food that breaks down barriers.
– Do you belong to a professional organizations at home? Through them you can connect with professional groups around the world. If you are in town on the right date, try attending one of their monthly meetings or excursions. You might want to visit their headquarters to see if there are learning opportunities worth exploring. Who knows, you may want to return with a mission.
– If you have a special interest, pursue it when you get to your destination. Are you a bridge player? There are sites listing clubs around the world. Do you enjoy cooking? Join a class and eat the fruits of your labor. If you’re athletic (e.g. like to swim), go to a local gym and/or pool. Working up a sweat or doing laps together makes for bonding.
– Pick up the English language newspaper or magazine – if they exist. Look for the announcements of events catering to Anglophones if you don’t speak that country’s language. Be on the look-out for lectures. If you’re in Paris, you’ll be overwhelmed by the selection and the variety. Some speakers are ones you’d be lucky to hear back home if you don’t live in a big city.
– Do not be afraid to participate in events taking place in the city, whether they be concerts or a trip to the Paris plage which is currently in full swing. Lord knows whom you’ll meet. If nothing else, you’ll have fun and in the process, come home with some interesting photos.
– Take an educational course in the country you are exploring – running the gamut from language classes, cooking classes, learning to dance the tango, art classes and anything that interests you. When I was in Tokyo, I took a flower arranging course and loved it. In the process, I met some lovely women.
– Ask questions (politely) and most people are delighted to help tourists who are genuinely interested in the country’s culture.
– Look for American churches or Anglophone ones. Even if you don’t want to attend services, more than likely they will have a list of events taking place and are a good place to network. Ditto for political organizations. I’ve been known to advertise for an English-speaking guide for a few hours if I’m in a country where there’s no way I’ll be privy to “hidden places” if I am on my own.
How not to meet people
Avoid learning about the country’s culture before getting on the flight. Don’t smile or learn key words such as bonjour, merci, s’il vous plaît and other minimal niceties. Manners go a long way.
These are just a few ideas and suggestions. Please post your tricks when it comes to making solo travel more meaningful.
Karen Fawcett is president of Bonjour Paris
Karen Fawcett loves to travel anywhere. Karen was a founder & president BonjourParis.com while living in Paris for more than 25 years. She has traveled across Europe and the rest of the world. She is now based in Washington, DC.
