Can you travel with this person? Share a room?

Traveling with someone, other than a significant other (and even then) necessitates a lot planning. How do you make a trip the best possible? How do you keep it from turning into one from hell? No matter how well you know someone, spending a concentrated period of time together, and most especially in an unfamiliar environment, can try relationships — big time.

Sailors swear that if you’re planning a week-long cruise in a smallish boat, you should test your compatibility quotient by spending a weekend together locked in a bathroom. If you emerge without having murdered someone, you’re ready to take to the seas. That may be a bit extreme, but there is some validity to the statement.

Herb Briggs, VP Operational Strategy and Compliance at NCO Group, said, “There’s an old saying: You don’t really know someone until you travel with them. There’s wisdom there. I know from experience. So I think it’s a crapshoot, no matter how many criteria you apply to the selection of a traveling partner.

But, one way to eliminate at least some of the “intolerables” is to observe the way someone treats waiters, security officers, doormen, etc. You can be sure they will treat you in that manner when the stress of traveling unravels their nerves.”

Some Musts:

– Decide on a destination;
– Do you want the same type of accommodations? If one person is a back-packer and the other prefers deluxe hotels (and/or is willing to pay for them), bag the trip.
– Do you have similar interests? energy levels?
– Are you planning on staying together or will you go separate ways?
– Eating habits, tastes plus don’t forget budget considerations.
– Does one person like to wander while the other is more timid and prefers tours?
– Does one person love to sightsee while another is a shop until you drop type?
– Are you going to go crazy if you travel companion wants to veg out on the beach and never leave?

Finances:

– Discuss finances and make certain there’s a clear understanding about who pays for what.
– Are you going to keep a running tab and settle up at the end?
– Money can be at the root of many evils and has been known to break up friendships, not to mention, marriages.

It’s all in the details and they may not be what you think:

Many people feel that unless you have a “dear and close relationship” sharing a room is a no-no after a certain age.

If you’re going to be staying in the same room: the following are some “must discuss” issues.

Sleeping habits and more:

-Is one person an early to bed type while the other is a night owl?
-How about snoring?
-Television watching – how and when?
-Does one person want to be on the computer while the other person is sleeping?
-Ditto for reading.

Personal habits:

-Is one a neat freak while the other lets clothes fall where they land?
-Sharing a bathroom with a “stranger” can take on new meaning.
-Bathing times and durations?
-Does one person use the WC as a library?
-Do you operate on the same time schedules? Waiting for someone to appear (or not) can break up a friendship.

Ask now and avoid being surprised:

-Is your travel partner a smoker (especially a closet one)?
-Have any habits you might wish you’d known about (e.g. grinding teeth)?
-Do they take so many clothes so that there’s no space for yours?
-Do they take so few, and wash every night, so that you feel as your room is “wash & wear” hell?

Driving

If you’re going to be covering a lot of miles, be certain it’s specified who is going to drive and when.

The above questions are only the beginning of what you need to ask when contemplating a trip. Come to think of it, they hold true when traveling with any group — even your family.

Please post other questions that should be asked. My guess is there are a zillion. At the very least….

Karen Fawcett is president of Bonjour Paris