Nothing is certain but death and taxes. Frequent fliers, however, will add the fact that not all flights will leave on time.
Most delays have relatively mundane causes from a short list—weather, mechanical delays and crew delays. But, every once in a while, there’s a new excuse that gets your attention.
A client last month had a United Express flight from Dulles to Boston delayed for a “faulty armrest.” Normally, he would understand and think that the excuse is a bit exotic, except that “faulty armrests” are a relatively common occurrence.
Personally I’ve heard everything from a flight attendant stomping off a plane at the last minute saying someone hadn’t filled out her paperwork correctly, to a crew announcing the airline had forgotten to put food and beverages aboard
Last weekend at Frankfurt a new excuse for delay came up. The United gate agents had inexplicably for those of us with tickets, put passengers in two, then three, then four lines. After an unannounced secondary passport check. (Originally they had a first-business line, and an economy line. The the agents separated first and business, and then finally they separated premier executives and Star Alliance Gold.) That process took long enough.
Moreover, the agents weren’t communicating these concepts well to anyone out of unamplified earshot, so the process wasn’t going smoothly.
As departure time approached and it appeared that the flight was going to be a little late anyway, an agent explained the situation, first in German, then in English. (I don’t speak enough German to know if it was a literal translation, but have to assume it was.)
“The plane is parked away from the terminal. You will all need to be bussed based on your line to the aircraft.”
Okay, fair enough. Then he added, “The crew needs to be on board first. Therefore, the flight will be delayed because the crew bus has gotten lost.”
Yes, lost. On the tarmac. Between the gate and the plane. The announcement was not exactly confidence inspiring. (Many passengers were asking each other, “Did he really say that?”)
Fortunately, the bus got unlost and United did get the boarding started 15 minutes later. The plane departed about 40 minutes late and actually made up the time to arrive in San Francisco 8 minutes early.
Admittedly Frankfurt is a huge airport, and the aircraft wasn’t in sight of the terminal building, though it was less than five minutes away. Maybe the driver was new? Still, getting looking for a United 747 has to be a bit embarrassing.
No doubt Consumer Traveler readers have also heard some amazing excuses for airline delays. Here’s your chance. Go ahead, vent in the comments. What’s the stupidest, strangest or most unbelievable excuse you’ve heard from an airline as to why your plane is late?
Janice Hough is a California-based travel agent a travel blogger and a part-time comedy writer. A frequent flier herself, she’s been doing battle with airlines, hotels, and other travel companies for over three decades. Besides writing for Travelers United, Janice has a humor blog at Leftcoastsportsbabe.com (Warning, the political and sports humor therein does not represent the views of anyone but herself.)
