Many of us love gallows humor, even if it’s tacky, and even if it’s awful — and yes, most of us in the travel business are guilty of passing around horrible jokes after travel disasters. But the best gallows humor is when there are no actual deaths or serious injuries involved.
Which means that US 1549 has just provided us, ironically, with one of the feel-good stories of the month. And of course, joke fodder.
For example:
US Airways has announced they are now the official airline of the US Swim Team.
At this point there’s at least something deeper under water in New York than most people’s mortgages.
US Airways has announced they did of course not charge passengers for their life jackets. They will bill them later.
New Yorkers haven’t seen a jet fall that fast since Brett Favre.
Passengers wondered after the fact if they should have been suspicious that the scheduled inflight movie was Titanic.
The hottest new inflight read? The seatback emergency card. (Especially that part on water landings.)
The Secret Service has assured Americans that should a similar situation arise, Air Force One is also capable of a water landing. At which point President-elect Obama will simply walk to safety.
Possible casual attire to be seen at inaugural formals? “I checked my tux on US Airways and all I have left is this lousy t-shirt.”
Can you imagine the baggage claim issues, and the insurance company phone conversations, especially with phone-centers in India. “Well, it’s not that my luggage is lost, I actually know where it is…but there’s an issue.”
New acronym – Using Sonar Airways
Actually the plane went down in a heavily trafficked part of the Hudson that is also used by cruise ships. Wonder how long it will take Royal Caribbean Cruise Line to add the “New York Snorkel” experience to their shore excursions?
The pilot did a great job of landing in the Hudson River, although perhaps a more appropriate place for such a spectacular crash landing would have been Shea Stadium. Specifically the bullpen mound.
Interesting karma…that this happens to the only airline in the US that currently charges for onboard water.
This is the actual airline flight information update that travel agents could read today.
(translation – “OUT” of the gate, 303p – 18 minutes late. “OFF” the runway – 325p. Estimated time of arrival in Charlotte 516p..well, not quite. No update for “IN” the Hudson. And the last line is reasonably self-explanatory.)
A/OUT 303P L00:18
A/OFF 325P
T/ETA 516P L00:26
A/LX ADJ-FLIGHT CANCELED DUE TO AN OPERATIONAL ISSUE
And my son’s contribution: New Yorkers were disappointed to hear it wasn’t the Knicks charter.
One enterprising writer posted a news report about the accident from the point of view of the geese. No passengers were injured, however the flock was decimated.
New York, N.Y. — A flock of geese, bound for the warmer waters of Charlotte, N.C., was almost wiped out by an airliner which flew directly into the V-shaped flock north of New York. Only two geese survived. Both landed safely on the Hudson River.
Having sustained damage to its engines, the airliner also landed on the Hudson.
“We didn’t even see it coming,” said Loosey Goosey, who flew on the outer fringes of the V. “Mother Goose took a direct hit and fell immediately. Fred and Gertrude were sucked into one engine, Eggbert was pulled into the other. It was awful.”
“All I saw were feathers flying,” said Canada, who was flying next to Loosey in the formation. “It’s so sad. Those planes should have horns or something.”
The International Committee on Safe Migration is planning a full investigation.
All kidding aside, it was a pretty miraculous performance by the crew, and actually in many ways by the passengers. With all the stories of selfish, careless and flat-out stupid behavior by air travelers, it was great to see everyone involved step up to the plate…and/or out on the wing, as the case may be.
By the way, other jokes or attempts at jokes are welcome as comments.
Janice Hough is a California-based travel agent a travel blogger and a part-time comedy writer. A frequent flier herself, she’s been doing battle with airlines, hotels, and other travel companies for over three decades. Besides writing for Travelers United, Janice has a humor blog at Leftcoastsportsbabe.com (Warning, the political and sports humor therein does not represent the views of anyone but herself.)
