For something different — Here is a collection of airline and travel jokes.
I know, some would say that airline schedules and promises are enough of a joke these days, but what the heck?
In a report released by the American Customer Satisfication Index, airlines ranked 47th amongst among 47 industries. This despite many survey respondents who tried to rank them 50th.
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Princess Cruise Lines is now dropping both Mazatlan and Puerto Vallarta as ports on their seven-day cruises from Los Angeles, citing concerns over “the continued violence in these areas.” Really? If the cruise line was that concerned about violence, they would just drop Los Angeles.
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A Southwest pilot has returned from his suspension after his cockpit rant. Apparently he didn’t realize he was broadcasting on an air traffic channel while referring to the airline’s flight attendants as a “continuous stream of gays and grannies and grandes.”
Hope the guy plans to spend his remaining years with the airline bringing his own coffee onboard.
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But really, what could possibly have been his defense for such a rant?, (which was also apparently laced with profanities.) Guess the pilot couldn’t apologize and say he was drunk?
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Southwest Airlines is celebrating 40 years in business. Which by now means about 40 million people have had the experience of eating peanuts for dinner.
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From my friend Alan Ray: A survey shows Southwest is the number one airline in customer satisfaction. Why don’t more United passengers give it a thumbs up? They’re too busy using another finger.
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A few weeks ago, United Airlines lost all its computers for six hours. Planes couldn’t take off, passengers couldn’t check in, and apparently many passengers on planes couldn’t get off.
Or as JetBlue says “Winter business as usual.”
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At one point, all United flights that had not taken off were grounded indefinitely. Changing the airline’s slogan from ‘It’s time to fly” to “Does anybody really know what time it is?”
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The Bad timing award? This United meltdown took place during the same week that the FAA authorized American Airlines to replace their pilot flight manuals with iPads.
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Pilots apparently like the idea of iPads instead of flight manuals. The iPads are also great for storing drink recipes.
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And finally on a different subject……
An Emperor penguin is under medical care in New Zealand after somehow getting lost and swimming there all the way from its native Antarctia. Doctors have recently ascertained that the bird, dubbed “Happy Feet,” is a male. Well, of course, a female penguin would have asked for directions.
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If you have heard a good travel joke, send it along in the comments. Someday in the future, assuming enough of you respond, I will consolidate the jokes into another post.
(For any readers who enjoy these, I write sports and politics jokes most days on my “leftcoastsportsbabe.com” blog. But sports doesn’t overlap that often with travel. And Consumertraveler.com is mostly a politics free site. But you are welcome to check the jokes out.)
Janice Hough is a California-based travel agent a travel blogger and a part-time comedy writer. A frequent flier herself, she’s been doing battle with airlines, hotels, and other travel companies for over three decades. Besides writing for Travelers United, Janice has a humor blog at Leftcoastsportsbabe.com (Warning, the political and sports humor therein does not represent the views of anyone but herself.)
